even ugly bitches can stop traffic in these.  and who knows what the hell they’ll stop it for.  cookies?  oprah?  to read you a chapter out of the latest twilight?  to tell you they’ll do some of those things other girls won’t do followed by a very obvious wink.  *shudder* 

let’s make it a real team effort to ensure these prototypes never make it to production.  i can’t help but imagine a zombie army full of overweight housewives wearing these while wandering through the streets kind of drunk, just lookin’ for cars, shards of funyuns escaping their lips as they yell, “hey ssccchhtoop!”  and when this happens, the united states will finally fall from the thread from which it has hung so long.  the crooked fashion police will take this country down.  honestly, i’ll probably fare well during this high heeled takeover as i can wear high heels longer than anyone and will be the last woman standing in these cop shoes, bossing everyone around.  will the power go to my head?  will i be benevolent?  well.  maybe you should all keep that in mind the next time you see me.  careful steppin’ if i were you.

(shoe submitted by both benjamin diggles and keri chang)