“well hello there fine fellows and good day to you.  yes, i was wondering if the use of this fine basketball court (taps court with cane) might be free for me and my colleagues to use this afternoon.  you see we were developing quite the case of cabin feevah and were wondering if we might use this facility to alleviate some of it.  with a little sport you see.  all in good fun.  what do you say?”

feel free to write your own ending here.

this shoe doesn’t care what you think of it.  so beware before you sass this shoe about its three tongues because imagine the raspberry it could blow on you.  you’d smell like spit afterwards that’s for sure.  but if you insist on saying something smart-alecky to it, the silver lining is that it can’t actually talk back.  i mean it’s hard enough for people with one oversized tongue to talk.  imagine three.  maybe it could still communicate to the world by blinking that one eyelet it’s got on the side.  but that would take so long.  i probably would have chest bumped my friends and walked away before it could wink out a good retort.

adidas once again flies too close to the sun bringing in guest designer jeremy scott, who apparently thinks this is an acceptable finished product.  looks like wax and feathers to me.  so whoever this jeremy scott is should probably rename himself daedalus, father of icarus.  because this is a crash and burn if i’ve ever seen one.  or rather a slow motion melt then fall.  p.s. leather wings don’t fly.

(shoe submission by paul burkhart)