hey dolce and gabbana, who gave this the greenlight?  you’re telling me no one noticed that there was a mismatched seam right down the god damn front of this shoe.  not a trend.  not a trend for fall.  maybe d&g cobblers don’t know any better.  imagine the reaction of the d&g cobblers after mistakenly wandering into a shoe store which offers first grade seam work.

“hold the phone, you mean you used one continuous piece of pony hair to make this shoe?  what’s that?  you hid the seams in the back or down the center on the interior side of the wedge?” 

(takes a step back, hand over mouth, horror, surprise) 

“my god.  you’re really onto something here.  probly be riots.  probly should get rubber bullets.  some sort of crowd shield.  because when this new seam technology hits the street we’re all most likely gonna die unless we know a mormon family with a fall out shelter or will smith is out there somewhere.  and i’m talking will smith independence day will smith not will smith i am legend will smith.”

for those of you who thought the christian louboutin for phillip lim line for Fall 2009 meant a meeting of great fashion minded minds, think again.  the shoe pictured above, resembling a slide of irregular cells taken from a pap smear, clearly shows that louboutin is angry with phillip lim. 

louboutin was quoted as saying, “i was at my grandma’s house and was just noticing how much fake old gold jewelry she had laying around that she never wears and how gaudily stuffed her furniture was.  i couldn’t help but think of phillip.”  during the runway show, louboutin was spotted taking a shot every time the shoes came down the aisle as well as repeatedly jabbing fellow designers with his elbow as if to say, “fuck you phillip lim.  do your own work next time.”