in reference to the title of the blog, no i’m not talking about being arrested for a fashion crime.  i’m talking about basic safety.  and as my mom would say, “why don’t we all just put the spine covered doc martens away beFORE somebody gets an eye put out.  alright?  kids?  does that sound like a plan?  hey.” 

i’m also fairly certain i saw these shoes taking out a chariot.  i mean if somebody could make these things illegal before agro portland bike gangs get a hold of them that would be great.  i don’t need a fixed gear junkie having the ability to clown my car by just sticking a leg out.  not to mention the damage they’re going to do to each other.  (secret bonus?)  broken ankles everywhere.  eyes put out too.  damnit mom.  you were right.  i should have listened.  but good things do happen after midnight.  you were wrong about that one.  but i totally see where you were coming from.  because you probs wouldn’t have wanted me to do any of that stuff.  but admittedly, it was fun.

since birth i haven’t been able to tell the difference between the color yellow, black, a camo print or a slayer t-shirt.  therefore i think that these things go together.  i.  i wear them.  at the same time.  people think i’m wearing this shit on purpose but i’m not.  it’s a condition called socalitis and it’s no laughing matter.  i mean, do you think i want to look like a fucking photo of myself from twenty years ago but with wrinkles drawn on it with a not thin but thick sharpie marker?