snarky los angeles blogger clowns world. mostly shoes.

large investment purchases like these giuseppe zanotti sandals for spring 2010 have some would-be criminals subscribing to the “buy now, kill later” philosophy.  not such a safe bet considering the current economic climate and the shortage of “jobs” available…  but that’s not stopping some of the more overzealous dregs of society from stepping up their look.

viktor and rolf’s father, a famous cast iron waffle iron maker, dreamed one day his sons would take over the family business.  his sons dreamed of careers in fashion design and a life bigger than a small town economically supported by waffle iron makery could afford.  so one day they left.  they became very successful fashion designers.  but.  less than one year after they left, their father passed away, most say of a broken heart.  ever since that day, the designs of the guilt-ridden gay sons have been harried by the images, textures and shapes of waffle irons.  oooOOOOooOOOOooooo……some say his father lives on – okay i can’t write this anymore.

velcro miu miu?  really?  these shoes look like spies that are wearing all of their disguises at once.  and they look a fool doing it.  a fool i tell you!

god i just can’t get over that velcro.  did miuccia prada just shrug her shoulders and go, “well, it’s not prada now is it?”  or maybe, “hey listen guys i really need to get to the grocery store and buy a cartload of salami and prosciutto to power my italian-ness, could you guys just *wave the hands* velcro those or something?  great thanks.”

every time this song “carry out” by timbaland, featuring justin timberlake, comes on the radio i am absolutely disgusted.  why?  because it makes me think about fast food and sex at the same time.  this causes me to think of sex as some sort of angioplastic exercise in which an inflated object is trying to force its way through a fat clogged artery.

the worst line in the song is by far – “have it your way foreplay”.  that’s the burger king logo!  i wonder how much they shelled out to have that included.  so besides the disgusting juxtaposition of sex and fast food the entire song is just a poorly disguised commercial which is annoying in its own right.

and what does “take my order cause your body like a carry out” even mean?  your body’s like a carry out?  her body is a rectangular box made of styrofoam or plastic coated cardboard?  well.  justin is known to stick his dick in a box every now and then.

right now my tummy is a dimly light basement covered in half torn down streamers and spilled punch bowls.  but, as soon as this microwave dings……….