Archive for the ‘ ugly shoes ’ Category
death+pirates+beauty=alexander mcqueen’s fall 2010 skull boots. these boots make a dying pale skinned sailor with spongy bloody gums, dry hair and spotted skin look good enough to eat. cock of the walk those sailors. who needs lemons when you have these boots? (p.s. pirates do) now here’s a short monologue i wrote about a player trying [ READ MORE ]
this sb skunk dunk comes with a leafy green exterior, stash pocket and the image of a heavy lidded skunk printed on the sole. it is being released by nike in a few days on 4-20. real clever nike. as if people who love to, as i say, “do the weed” aren’t annoying enough, now they get to [ READ MORE ]
almost there sweetheart. and by sweetheart of course i mean dirty lazy bitch. i say, if you’re not going to muster up the ingenuity to invent a quicker and easier shoe fastener then you best fall in line and get to bucklin’. you’re not above it. no one is. although i do enjoy the imagery of [ READ MORE ]
i’m not sure how many people in the world are willing to wear a $100 piece of undercooked salmon on their leg but my guess is the number closely resembles zero. fish isn’t hot. people dont’ wear fish. sure they’ll wear a tiger print or a thing covered with snakeskin. they’ll even wear eel or muskrat. [ READ MORE ]
finally a shoe dressed like a vegas-lovin’ grandmother, complete with poker visor. but forever incomplete, because of its lack of a shrieky shaky voice and the ability to taunt someone with a single m&m as though it were made of pure unadulterated GOLD. heart you vegas grams. [ READ MORE ]
let this be a lesson to all of you. if you can’t read the fine print on that autopsy toe tag, lemme go ahead and just tell you what it says. “cause of death: crystal bee held a knife in each hand and turned herself into a human windmill. dumb bitch spent $1200 trying to [ READ MORE ]
but not the hilarity you’re probably thinking of. not the hilarious and often heartwarming hollywood moment when all the shoes at that midwestern shoe high school transcend superficiality and say something like, “hey we’re all different, but we’re still shoes right? we’re in this life together!” no. i’m talking about the hilarity that comes as gorgeous louboutin [ READ MORE ]
has anyone seen trixie? yeah we’re trying shoot the snake heels? hello? hey you seen trixie? [ READ MORE ]
so. looks like louis vuitton sawed off the end of a bunch of table legs and killed a goat. they then glued a mustache of goat fur and the table leg ends to several pairs of uggs dyed like easter eggs. occasionally attaching a nunchuck as necessary. and that’s just the shoes. let’s not forget to mention the two [ READ MORE ]
cacharel has created these, if i may be so uncreative, super stupid boots for spring 2010. a boot one thinks they need but cannot afford, and once they can afford it, they no longer need. probably due to improved taste and increased options. though they would look great filled with flowers in babs’s guest room. right [ READ MORE ]