Archive for the ‘ ugly shoes ’ Category
comes in two colors, “natural” and “worlds unite”. i personally would call these colors “puke” and “the color my puke shows up on more.” i can think of only one way i could properly utilize these heels. picture a bar, preferably a divey one with a few old timers scattered about. in my saturday night’s [ READ MORE ]
facebook continues to imitate life. why am i starting to feel like R.J. MacReady in John Carpenter’s The Thing? oh wait i know. because i’m starting to think a parasitic alien life form named facebook attacked and then assimilated all my friends and turned them into asinine streams of 11 word sentences that only LOOK like my friends. [ READ MORE ]
way to match up the waffle print. because that’s hard. (shoe submission by keri chang) [ READ MORE ]
these shoes look like they were constructed out of a bunch of old wood clocks made of glazed tree cross sections with “time to fish” engraved in the center. in other words, i don’t like them. i’d rather have big mouth billy the singing bass go off every time i’m trying to orgasm than wear [ READ MORE ]
these look like something a brazilian elf would wear as he delivers innumerable ball in a cup games to poor children at brazilian christmas. they have that, right? elves and christmas and shit? well, christmas for sure. i don’t know about elves. not sure elves have spread that far south. great now i’m blogging about [ READ MORE ]
last i checked you didn’t need $1200 to let people know you’re a fucking unimaginative fallow skank. all you need is a low cut top and the ability to wink. doesn’t even have to be a good top. regular old top’ll do. i mean for christ sake’s if you really wanna get the rolling pin out just [ READ MORE ]
shitty beadwork ahoy! few things in this world can manage to wrench an audible “sheesh” out of me. and this fall 2010 boot lineup from chanel is one of them. these shoes remind me of a horrible midriff scrunchie tee i used to wear in junior high that would always get me in trouble with [ READ MORE ]
the dsquared label is gonna need a little more than these bone thin stilettos if they expect to hunker down for winter with any sort of seriousness. these shoes will make little more than a thin soup. a thin soup i say! but more importantly this shoe brings to light my serious hate of swarovski crystals. [ READ MORE ]
you know your man still thinks of you as a sexual entity when he buys you these sexy grandpa slippers with attached broom and dustpan. because there’s nothing sexier than looking like a hunchback with flat arches shuffling across the floor that gave you wrinkles and grey hair to buy. not to mention the incessant banging noise that [ READ MORE ]
BLEEDING WITH SARCASM –> somewhere between x-men fanatics and furries is apparently a customer base large enough to support this. <– BLEEDING WITH SARCASM for some reason when i look at these shoes i imagine the person wearing them is an emotionally stunted 40 year old man in an old ratty Garfield t-shirt too short for his chili [ READ MORE ]