Archive for the ‘ trashy shoes ’ Category
hey what belt should i wear with these jeans? oh i don’t know maybe it doesn’t even fucking matter. [ READ MORE ]
this boot by rsvp has been given the name “stefania”. undoubtedly rsvp is trying to honor the generations of russian hookers that have come before. i will however, be rsvp-ing no to the boot festivities. the only thing this boot might be good for is a candy bag for a young witch on halloween. and even then it’s weird [ READ MORE ]
these shoes look like a sleezy dude. i would therefore never wear them, especially if i was wearing a skirt. because these shoes would most def be looking up my skirt all day and talking to me like a god damn guido going, “ey! nice!” or “why don’t you let shoezy up dere! dis is torture down here!” then [ READ MORE ]
some might say these aphrodite heels that were designed for prostitutes have become a (laughs to self) platform for public discussion. they have gps tracking, an alarm system and a panic button to alert local law enforcement officials on the heel. all of this was designed to keep sex workers safe. i actually have an idea of [ READ MORE ]
well if this isn’t the equivalent of a catbell for a human woman then i don’t know what it is. how could you stand the sound of faux leather tassles slapping around every time you took a step? i just hope those who have homes or workplaces with especially long and usually abandoned hallways have [ READ MORE ]
skanks have found a new way to keep the superfluous fur (supfurfluous roflamo) on their boots neat and tidy. they are simply belting it down. this gives me an idea of what to do the next time i accidentally walk into mariposa or wet seal. i’ll just grab a handful of faux leather belts off the rack, and tie up [ READ MORE ]
and the baby’s not cute. this baby’s all like, “i reckon i be needin’ to get ta shore.” this boot’s like, “howdy pardner, i’d be obliged if you’d give me an orange as i be havin’ a mighty ripe case of the scurvy. also, it be five o’clock somewhere. arrgh.” this boot sucks harder than any [ READ MORE ]
BLOG boy life must be good. because i can see that it says right here… *puts glasses lower on nose and leans forward* that you are quote lovin’ life unquote. these sheepskin boots by koolaburra manage to be an UGG and Ed Hardy knockoff at the same time. but they also let everyone know who happens to [ READ MORE ]
as if the toes weren’t enough of a clue. they had to place a few small candycorns at the ankle just to make sure we’re picking up what they’re layin’ down. “oooooh the shoes look like candycorns. i knew it was something. but wait. [pause] i see it now. it’s totally candycorn. i would’ve figured it out.” it’s [ READ MORE ]
for some reason, thelovelybride dot com thinks they can take a shoe i paid $9.99 for at payless in 1995, market it as a wedding shoe and sell it for $140.00. the jig’s up lovelybride. i’d like to hear what star jones, the spokeswoman for payless shoe source has to say about this. perhaps had [ READ MORE ]