Archive for the ‘ scary shoes ’ Category
facebook continues to imitate life. why am i starting to feel like R.J. MacReady in John Carpenter’s The Thing? oh wait i know. because i’m starting to think a parasitic alien life form named facebook attacked and then assimilated all my friends and turned them into asinine streams of 11 word sentences that only LOOK like my friends. [ READ MORE ]
the dsquared label is gonna need a little more than these bone thin stilettos if they expect to hunker down for winter with any sort of seriousness. these shoes will make little more than a thin soup. a thin soup i say! but more importantly this shoe brings to light my serious hate of swarovski crystals. [ READ MORE ]
large investment purchases like these giuseppe zanotti sandals for spring 2010 have some would-be criminals subscribing to the “buy now, kill later” philosophy. not such a safe bet considering the current economic climate and the shortage of “jobs” available… but that’s not stopping some of the more overzealous dregs of society from stepping up their [ READ MORE ]
viktor and rolf’s father, a famous cast iron waffle iron maker, dreamed one day his sons would take over the family business. his sons dreamed of careers in fashion design and a life bigger than a small town economically supported by waffle iron makery could afford. so one day they left. they became very successful [ READ MORE ]
a hesitant and quiet clapping followed this horribly disfigured shoe’s final walk down the runway last week in paris. [ READ MORE ]
i think all old nasty cougs should be marked with this symbol. why should they be marked? for the safety of your friend’s and family’s sons. especially those who are employed as pool boys, gardeners, and plumbers. they deserve to hear a metaphorical gunshot before they’re hit (up) by a predatory old hag who spends [ READ MORE ]
death+pirates+beauty=alexander mcqueen’s fall 2010 skull boots. these boots make a dying pale skinned sailor with spongy bloody gums, dry hair and spotted skin look good enough to eat. cock of the walk those sailors. who needs lemons when you have these boots? (p.s. pirates do) now here’s a short monologue i wrote about a player trying [ READ MORE ]
let this be a lesson to all of you. if you can’t read the fine print on that autopsy toe tag, lemme go ahead and just tell you what it says. “cause of death: crystal bee held a knife in each hand and turned herself into a human windmill. dumb bitch spent $1200 trying to [ READ MORE ]
this model has a huge dump in her pants and is missing at least one toe from her left foot. but i digress. this shoe makes your ankle and foot look like a full blown sith lord. these shoes could not, however, choke me to death telekinetically and are therefore a pathetic farse for one. unfortunately, i have [ READ MORE ]
even ugly bitches can stop traffic in these. and who knows what the hell they’ll stop it for. cookies? oprah? to read you a chapter out of the latest twilight? to tell you they’ll do some of those things other girls won’t do followed by a very obvious wink. *shudder* let’s make it a real team [ READ MORE ]