Archive for the ‘ poorly made shoes ’ Category
write your own blog for these. i’m taking the day off. [ READ MORE ]
alright little missy elliott. so. cowboy stitchwork. reptile print. pink sole. sneaker. boot. ankle strap. stripes. laces. contrast stitch. bedazzled logo. whatever all these things do together as a whole better cure cancer because there is no other fucking excuse. i’m having a really hard time deciding how and when i will kill the bitch [ READ MORE ]
the bow really softens it up. otherwise might have looked too harsh. bow really does it. good job shoe brand i didn’t bother to write down. also i can see right through that heel. like right through it. so if you need a fig leaf or something, you know, fuck off. [ READ MORE ]
“so there i was. thinking i had really spruced up my l.e.i.s with these flip flops and a shapeless top that ties in the back. then i read this article, you know, the one about the ruffles,” whispers cristina easton. “the embarrassment just poured over me like cold water.” easton gives this confession after reading a new study [ READ MORE ]
“crystal, why can’t i wear these? not even to work? you know, with my banana slacks?” “no.” “why not?” “because 1,000 babies will die.” “what? but i like the toe. it looks professional.” “do you like the blade heel?” “the what? is that what it’s called? well i suppose i-” “shut the FUCK up. SHUT! the FUCK! UP! you’re taking a shit on personal [ READ MORE ]
adidas once again flies too close to the sun bringing in guest designer jeremy scott, who apparently thinks this is an acceptable finished product. looks like wax and feathers to me. so whoever this jeremy scott is should probably rename himself daedalus, father of icarus. because this is a crash and burn if i’ve ever seen [ READ MORE ]
someone in arkansas is gluing lace onto white flip flops and selling them o’er the internet. according to the maker, they sell as fast as… “hot cakes”? some arkansas thing i guess. it makes sense that things that appear as though they are cake, sell at the same speed as cake. people think they’re buying cake. simple as [ READ MORE ]
zigi soho decides to make a boot. designed much like a child designs a chocolate sundae. peep toe, syrup, high heel, m&ms, awkward below calf height, sprinkles, rose, whipped cream. i think the stiletto heel has a chance of supporting the rest of the shoe. but that flower. god that’s the straw that broke the camel’s back isn’t [ READ MORE ]
“oh, hey i work for dolce and gabbana and i have an idea for a shoe, let’s put a pearl between two clam shells.” come on. now when dolce and gabbana move into a new neighborhood, they have to inform all other neighborhood residents living within one mile. tomatoes are thrown. doesn’t seem to be much [ READ MORE ]
hey baby do you need me to get you anything but tampons and vagisil from the store? no? okay. i’m just gonna go then in these swishy gaucho-esque mesh shorts. love you. [ READ MORE ]