Archive for the ‘ grandma loves it ’ Category
the anti-semitic jack sparrow wannabe known as John Galliano decided to pinocchio a corsage into a shoe by giving it a sole… that Galliano sure does love to shoe pinocchio. he does not however, love Jiminy Cricket, or any other form a conscience may take….zing! [ READ MORE ]
these shoes look like they were constructed out of a bunch of old wood clocks made of glazed tree cross sections with “time to fish” engraved in the center. in other words, i don’t like them. i’d rather have big mouth billy the singing bass go off every time i’m trying to orgasm than wear [ READ MORE ]
shitty beadwork ahoy! few things in this world can manage to wrench an audible “sheesh” out of me. and this fall 2010 boot lineup from chanel is one of them. these shoes remind me of a horrible midriff scrunchie tee i used to wear in junior high that would always get me in trouble with [ READ MORE ]
you know your man still thinks of you as a sexual entity when he buys you these sexy grandpa slippers with attached broom and dustpan. because there’s nothing sexier than looking like a hunchback with flat arches shuffling across the floor that gave you wrinkles and grey hair to buy. not to mention the incessant banging noise that [ READ MORE ]
ooooookay. so apparently christian louboutin has abandoned his roots and a very successful history of super hot stiletto makery to roll this shit off the presses for fall 2010. the shoes are so boring they almost don’t exist. it’s like i’m looking at nothing. i mean, a shoe in leopard print that has elastic AND a mere [ READ MORE ]
finally a shoe dressed like a vegas-lovin’ grandmother, complete with poker visor. but forever incomplete, because of its lack of a shrieky shaky voice and the ability to taunt someone with a single m&m as though it were made of pure unadulterated GOLD. heart you vegas grams. [ READ MORE ]
cacharel has created these, if i may be so uncreative, super stupid boots for spring 2010. a boot one thinks they need but cannot afford, and once they can afford it, they no longer need. probably due to improved taste and increased options. though they would look great filled with flowers in babs’s guest room. right [ READ MORE ]