Archive for the ‘ confusing shoes ’ Category
you know your man still thinks of you as a sexual entity when he buys you these sexy grandpa slippers with attached broom and dustpan. because there’s nothing sexier than looking like a hunchback with flat arches shuffling across the floor that gave you wrinkles and grey hair to buy. not to mention the incessant banging noise that [ READ MORE ]
i guess grandma got her groove back. but what dollhouse has forgotten, is that when grandma gets her groove back, no one wants to see it or know about it. shit just ain’t fit. plus grandpa would roll over in his grave. or worse, shakily aim a rifle at a young hustler who’s just trying [ READ MORE ]
since the real roger vivier passed away in 1998, allow me to remind his successor bruno frisoni at the house of roger vivier, that design when applied to clothing, is generally thought of as the fusion of aesthetics and function. this is a shoe. what are shoes for? 1. walking 2. keeping the soles of our feet [ READ MORE ]
as if women don’t talk enough. now their very shoes need to become fragments of words and sentences thrown together in a jumble that holds as much value and meaning as their seemingly incessant chitter chatter. IE NONE. plus what’s up with the super groovy font? is this my 8th grade binder? am i right fellas? [ READ MORE ]
velcro miu miu? really? these shoes look like spies that are wearing all of their disguises at once. and they look a fool doing it. a fool i tell you! god i just can’t get over that velcro. did miuccia prada just shrug her shoulders and go, “well, it’s not prada now is it?” or maybe, [ READ MORE ]
i like it how the designer, sarajevo belma arnautovic, specifies that these “dreamland inspired lolice shoes” were made to carry candy. only candy. as though no other objects could be carried by the shoes. so don’t you dare put baseball cards, moonpies or penny whistles in these shoes. they’re made for FUCKING candy ya hear? [ READ MORE ]
these shoes are made of a meltdown of blue, white, and green strips of leather, laser-compressed into a striated amalgam that looks, as balenciaga designer nicolas ghesquière joked, “like play-doh.” the shoes appear in the 2010 spring/summer line, though i haven’t seen them actually available for sale anywhere yet. wonder why. my number one guess [ READ MORE ]
the above video states that it used to be a fashion faux pas to wear socks with sandals but that now it’s a bold statement. hmmm. i’m not sure what bold statement these are making but i’m pretty sure it involves something about someone getting paid $20/hour just to make sure you don’t eat a [ READ MORE ]
almost there sweetheart. and by sweetheart of course i mean dirty lazy bitch. i say, if you’re not going to muster up the ingenuity to invent a quicker and easier shoe fastener then you best fall in line and get to bucklin’. you’re not above it. no one is. although i do enjoy the imagery of [ READ MORE ]
finally a shoe dressed like a vegas-lovin’ grandmother, complete with poker visor. but forever incomplete, because of its lack of a shrieky shaky voice and the ability to taunt someone with a single m&m as though it were made of pure unadulterated GOLD. heart you vegas grams. [ READ MORE ]