that star looks real pointy.  this picture is actually making me squint instinctively for ocular protection.  if she brings that damn thing any closer she’s going to cut her own orbits off.  and once the picture is taken what does the star do?  i’ll tell you what that star doesn’t do.  it doesn’t collapse into a small nylon sack that you can slip under your seat at the grammys.  can she even sit down in that dress?  they should just put her up on a pole to keep hollywood crows away.

the shoe  on the left is part of alexander mcqueen’s spring/summer 2010 line shown at the pret a porter show in paris last october.  the creature on the right is from james cameron’s 1979 hit movie alien.  if i had to choose one of these to be in my closet while i slept at night, well, that would be a hard choice.  i’m going to have to go with james cameron’s alien though because at least since i’ve seen the film, and i know how to destroy it.  whereas this thing on the left here, well that’s an evil not yet even available in stores.

behind the scenes: while writing this blog a spider the size of a spec of dust landed on my oversized sweater.  i promptly jumped up, took off my sweater and shook it while throwing potentially the biggest hissy fit in the entire world.  unable to locate the spider, i then whispered to myself in fear, “now it’s angry”.  so i’m not feeling too much like ripley with a grappling gun right now.

(shoe submission by beth ramsey anderson)

 the heel of this shoe has obviously been reinforced with steel about seven times but alexander mcqueen couldn’t be bothered to stop that string from poppin’ up loose ’round the ankle.  unless that’s a small tattoo of the canadian maple leaf peeking out?  either way, there is no excuse for shoddy workmanship or canadian models. 

this shoe also looks like it could have come straight from the mad max wardrobe closet.  i personally think they should change that famous line in beyond thunderdome to, “bust a deal and face the heel.”  and i also think the women below should be scripted in and dubbed, “the heel.”

(shoe submission by beth ramsey anderson)

this bahia python print ankle cuff sandal by cocobelle has, but at the same time has not, knocked my socks off.  i’m not sure milla jojovich could have pulled these off in the fifth element, so i’m not sure how some regular jo blo is supposed to.  bruce willis might have had to multi pass on dat shit.