snarky los angeles blogger clowns world. mostly shoes.

comes in two colors, “natural” and “worlds unite”.  i personally would call these colors “puke” and “the color my puke shows up on more.”  i can think of only one way i could properly utilize these heels.  picture a bar, preferably a divey one with a few old timers scattered about.  in my saturday night’s finest, i would walk into this bar and begin fake climbing across the horizontal floor by moving in large slow motion steps, grabbing large chunks of air with my hands, and making loud painful grunting noises.  when i reached the bar probably four minutes later, i’d also use that grip action sole to anchor my foot firmly to the bar stool as i give an unnecessary, pain stricken but victorious yell to finally grab my drink from the annoyed bartender.  then i would post a video of this on youtube and entitle it “fuck you teva”.

(shoe submission by iris murdock and john forsythe)