snarky los angeles blogger clowns world. mostly shoes.

i recently watched the first twilight movie with my boyfriend.  neither of us had read the books, but we finally wanted to know what all the fuss was about.  it was absolutely fucking terrible.  the movie immediately bombards you with all sorts of steamy, intense and profound emotions.  these emotions are built on little to no foundation.  the movie lacked a structure of any sort.  the main characters were poorly developed and at the end of it i was in a word, confused.

it is common knowledge that when a book is turned into a movie, it sucks.  it goes hand in hand that those who have read the book generally hate the movie.  they chastise the movie for being so shallow, so hollywood.

movies butcher books and everybody knows it.

so why then do those who have read the books in the twilight series tell me, “it’s just that you don’t really know the whole story.”  “the movie would make more sense to you if you had read the book.”  “well, if you haven’t read the book then you’re probably not really getting everything.”

yeah, just like the french revolutionary war would make more sense if i had ever bothered to read a god damn history book.  but i’ll tell you what.  if i rented a movie about the french revolutionary war, it would probably bother to lend some insight.  i paid blockbuster $4.00 to give me a story that i didn’t have to read a book to get.  it was not my responsibility to go the extra mile to understand the story.  i already gave you the $4.00.  that was the deal blockbuster.  that’s the whole point of a fucking movie.