world’s oldest profession? you wouldn’t know it by looking at these saavy hookers.
some might say these aphrodite heels that were designed for prostitutes have become a (laughs to self) platform for public discussion. they have gps tracking, an alarm system and a panic button to alert local law enforcement officials on the heel. all of this was designed to keep sex workers safe. i actually have an idea of my own to keep sex workers safe. it’s called going to trade school. you see when you’re a plumber, people don’t try to kill you. (and you can still work those pipes) because it isn’t the gps-less shoes that are causing prostitutes all sorts of danger. no, no. it’s the fact that they’re fucking prostitutes. so maybe the best way to help prosties this christmas isn’t making a $200 shoe in order to rip them off, make a buck and provide some sort of remedial safety. hey you guys. let’s make 82nd snow this christmas. snow with plumber trade school applications.
(shoe suggestion by katy tahirih linhart)
Yes!
now hotel staff will know exactly which mattress to open up to isolate that lingering smell that wont go away no matter how many car fresheners they hang around the room.
its okay john, she was already dead on the inside.