poor man’s bumper sticker

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boy life must be good. because i can see that it says right here… *puts glasses lower on nose and leans forward* that you are quote lovin’ life unquote. these sheepskin boots by koolaburra manage to be an UGG and Ed Hardy knockoff at the same time. but they also let everyone know who happens to be behind you in line, on the sidewalk or in class that you are on cloud 9, and that they can basically eat your fucking dust, which is important in a shoe. for best results, use with a “i’m #1” hat.
BONUS BLOG
what’s with the crosses? are they holy shoes? maybe if these boots also smelled like garlic they could ward off ankle bitin’ midget vampires that attack your tibial arteries. but then, who would want to ward off vampires since twilight came out? ever since that movie came out ladies have been rubbing honey and iodine all over their necks and hangin’ around in dark alleys jus’ waitin’ for beautiful but tortured vampire beings to come bite them. so i don’t expect these boots to sell very well. no, not when they’re keepin’ women’s necks from edward cullen’s sex fangs. sexxxxxxx faaaaaaaaaaangssszzzzzz.
(shoe submission by beth ramsey anderson)
Beautiful.
Maybe there’ll be a companion pair with bats that say “Suckin’” on one boot and “Necks” on the other.