snarky los angeles blogger clowns world. mostly shoes.

these shoes look like a sleezy dude.  i would therefore never wear them, especially if i was wearing a skirt.  because these shoes would most def be looking up my skirt all day and talking to me like a god damn guido going, “ey!  nice!” or “why don’t you let shoezy up dere!  dis is torture down here!”  then i’d probly start walking with my legs all close together so the pervy shoe couldn’t get any more free shows.  then of course the shoes would spot some stairs up ahead and be like, “ho ho ho!  c’mon sweetheart!!!!!!”  and i’d be all like, “forget it shoes!  we’re taking the elevator!”  and then waddle closed-thighed over to the elevator as an entire mall full of people gaze upon me with frightened awe.

(shoe submission by beth ramsey anderson)