Archive for October, 2009
by collecting itchy old tags cut out from cashmere sweaters and then rubber cementing them onto their shitty workboots, a few hobos in the portland area have gotten their own taste of luxury. “you know, just because i’m homeless doesn’t mean i don’t like nice things. i care what i look like,” says deadbeat dan of the chinatown area. “my entire house [ READ MORE ]
if this bitch turned up at my wedding with these shoes on i would pick her up, turn her upside down and shake her. then i’d break her shoes open over the edge of a pew and shake the released flowers all down my glorious bridal runway and say, “c’mon flower girl do your job. do your ONLY fucking job! [ READ MORE ]
since birth i haven’t been able to tell the difference between the color yellow, black, a camo print or a slayer t-shirt. therefore i think that these things go together. i. i wear them. at the same time. people think i’m wearing this shit on purpose but i’m not. it’s a condition called socalitis and it’s [ READ MORE ]
and the gold guilded doors of employment open to show a sunny rainbow covered meadow with rent controlled housing, well drinks, and urban outfitter sweaters scattered about. and sorry for the lack of blogging. they don’t let me blog all the live long customer-less mornings at the new place. however i am clothed. and fed. *looks [ READ MORE ]
ah the age old question. if i had a nickel for everytime [skip rest of joke] one nickel. so get your shit straight zac posen. also those better be tights on that model or someone needs to get her some blood. stat. unless maybe she doesn’t have enough blood down to get a lot more [ READ MORE ]
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balenciaga, who has slowly been profiting from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder since 1937, now openly refuses to acknowledge the validity of the disease. they are claiming their designers are cognizant adults able to make their own decisions in a reasonable amount of time, even if those decisions take months and include combining snowboard parts and more colors than are in [ READ MORE ]
“i’m just not sure those shoes are going to change the fact that gerald doesn’t ever want to have children josephine. i’m just not sure those shoes are the answer. or any sort of medicine for that matter.” “he’ll come around.” “no. he won’t. and i think that’s why you’re having anxiety about this marriage.” “what anxiety?” “josephine. the [ READ MORE ]
if mrs. claus wore these shoes by roger vivier a little more often, i bet santa would buy her a lot of toys for christmas this year. or maybe trey from sex and the city would ask her out. or elmer fudd. or hell i probly would. she’s hot. [ READ MORE ]
say hello to the last pair of shoes you’ll ever have to buy that little brat. i’d like to get a tub of popcorn and a two way mirror and watch that little ingrate just try and get out of this foot straight jacket. you won’t even have to replace them for a bigger size as he gets older, because [ READ MORE ]