maybe mugatu was onto something
by collecting itchy old tags cut out from cashmere sweaters and then rubber cementing them onto their shitty workboots, a few hobos in the portland area have gotten their own taste of luxury.
“you know, just because i’m homeless doesn’t mean i don’t like nice things. i care what i look like,” says deadbeat dan of the chinatown area. “my entire house is made of all clad and calphalon boxes. bet you wouldn’t have guessed that. might have pegged me for an egg crate or a fly by night under the awning type guy. nope. i care about the products that were once in the boxes that i live in. i have pride. and yeah, as far as the boots go, i guess i do enjoy that little look of jealousy or maybe hunger when i walk by another tent town.”
local larry the tramp says that the trend doesn’t surprise him explaining, “you’re talking about a group of people who get maximum exposure. i mean these people are constantly in the public eye. the fact that they want to look good is less than shocking.”
panhandlin’ paul from the industrial district has been receiving rave reviews below and above the bridges for some of his boot designs. in fact, his own line called “no vagranchic” is currently in the works. “every tag i use is from a 100% cashmere sweater, no acrylic blends. i just want to make a line exclusively for us paupers and mendicants. and believe me, it’s not going to be easy to accomplish something new with such a strong gutter punk influence in portland. they’ve done so much. but unlike most, i do find a strong difference between our style and theirs.” zip tie suspenders and clothing accented with broken compact disc shards are rumored to headline no vagranchic’s first season. prices are expected to range between two cigarettes and a blowjob.
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