snarky portland blogger clowns world. mostly shoes.

[jesus and his disciple john walk down the road together] 

[john]  hey jesus when you got that martyr thing coming up?  was that today? 

[jesus look at john incredulously]

[john]  oh shit i thought that was thursday.  [runs hands down face slowly, then winces]  could we just squeeze in one more supper?  i promised mark and luke.  and you know joseph of gomorra’s unleavened bread is just to die for.

[jesus]  well.  i am on my way to my fucking death.  i can’t believe you guys forgot.

[john]  come on. 

[jesus]  you know what?  let’s do what you guys wanna do.  we’ll do what i wanna do tomorrow. 

[judas appears] 

[judas]  [in a sing song tone]  i brought the hooOOOoly chaaAAAaaalice.

[jesus]  i don’t even wanna hear you talk right now motherfucker.

[judas]  oh come on.  didn’t we put that all behind us?

[jesus]  that’s a nice chalice judas.  how much did that cost you?  looks nice.  about thirty pieces of silver?  that sound about right?  pass it over here.  [jesus grabs chalice out of judas' hands]  might as well get my drink on.

[judas]  oh kiss my ass.

[jesus]  oh yeah judas?  kissing’s more your department don’t you think?

[jesus and judas go for each other, mark and luke show up and break them apart with much force]

[mark]  come on jesus.  judas said he was sorry.  when you gonna give this shit up?

 [jesus]  whatever let’s just go to dinner.

[judas trying not to cry, speaks weakly]

[judas]  i’m sorry man.

[luke]  judas don’t be a fucking pussy.  we’ve all done shit man.

[jesus]  if you guys think you’re getting your feet washed at this dinner you can forget it.