snarky los angeles blogger clowns world. mostly shoes.

“so there i was.  thinking i had really spruced up my l.e.i.s with these flip flops and a shapeless top that ties in the back.  then i read this article, you know, the one about the ruffles,” whispers cristina easton.  “the embarrassment just poured over me like cold water.”  easton gives this confession after reading a new study which states tacky shoe-impersonating flip flops like the ones pictured above by jessica simpson, “do not constitute real footwear and have no place in this world.”

“i thought i could wear it.  why would they sell it at macy’s if i can’t wear it?  i’m so confused.”  easton says she feels ashamed due to a newfound and horrific realization that her entire closet is full of cheaply adorned flip flops that have made her look about as dressed up as a shirtless cavemen with a loose tie on for quite sometime.  “i’m not sure i’ve ever been dressed up in my entire life,” easton chokes out.

“well,” says the study.