snarky portland blogger clowns world. mostly shoes.

this shoe doesn’t care what you think of it.  so beware before you sass this shoe about its three tongues because imagine the raspberry it could blow on you.  you’d smell like spit afterwards that’s for sure.  but if you insist on saying something smart-alecky to it, the silver lining is that it can’t actually talk back.  i mean it’s hard enough for people with one oversized tongue to talk.  imagine three.  maybe it could still communicate to the world by blinking that one eyelet it’s got on the side.  but that would take so long.  i probably would have chest bumped my friends and walked away before it could wink out a good retort.