got these ten years ago and have worn them every motherfucking day since
“crystal, why can’t i wear these? not even to work? you know, with my banana slacks?”
“no.”
“why not?”
“because 1,000 babies will die.”
“what? but i like the toe. it looks professional.”
“do you like the blade heel?”
“the what? is that what it’s called? well i suppose i-”
“shut the FUCK up. SHUT! the FUCK! UP! you’re taking a shit on personal pride and creativity when you wear these. and you’re supporting shoe companies with no souls. wear these shoes and i will come after you like i am the highlander. i will rip that heel off your foot and cut off your head with it.”
of course bandolino put up an ad next to this. of course they did.
i think i would like a pair of banana slacks. are they yellow?
yes.