snarky los angeles blogger clowns world. mostly shoes.

next time you’re on a terrible first date, instead of having your friend text you in the middle with a fake emergency, just slip these babies into your purse before you enter uncharted man territory. at the first sign of trouble just get your secret weapons out of your purse and put them on. make sure your skirt’s hiked up to the knees. while running your hands down your legs say to him, “i just loooove my frog shoes.” follow that up with an occasional ribbit sound that is audible but still deniable. blowing bubbles with chewing gum couldn’t hurt.