Archive for August, 2009
calculated by number of hits, the winner is…by far… cousin (sh)itt. [ READ MORE ]
just givenchy to the desire to in fact, not save a horse. if and when these shoes hit the market the amount of horses that will be saved will be zero. all horses will be ridden at all times. there will not be a single horse un-ridden. most likely unicorns as well. if you believe [ READ MORE ]
Gravis fans felt betrayed and hurt last Thursday afternoon when the quality of their products took a turn for the deadly. daughters, mothers and sisters all over the nation pulled on their new Gravis shoes in the morning to find not a satisfactory reflection coming from the mirror in front of them but a blood [ READ MORE ]
“baby do you know where my wallet is? hey where are my clean boxers? what do you mean the milk’s expired? that is not expired. no. it’s not. whatever i didn’t even wanna drink it anyways. don’t throw it out though. don’t. i’ll drink it. i’ll drink it later. where are you going? why? no [ READ MORE ]
“yeah i really liked this guy. he was really really nice but sometimes i just think he was just, too good for me.” “what do you mean?” “like the other day he asked me if i thought the way i ended my conversation with the grocery store cashier was very polite. i said i didn’t remember. and then he [ READ MORE ]
ellie the chemist wondered one day what would happen if she put her brother’s 1993 b.u.m. equipment jeans, a grip of Lucite, elmer’s glue and a bunch of church table legs into an old whiskey barrel and got to mixin’. (shoe submission by Beth Ramsey Anderson) [ READ MORE ]
bills, shoes and booze is pleased to introduce the Sunday Edition. the blogs written in the style of a newspaper article (shoe finds human host, great expectations) will now be posted every Sunday. hope to see your hungover face each and every week. and don’t forget to send me your favorite ugly shoe. seecrystalblog@gmail.com love, crystal bee [ READ MORE ]
sometimes in the middle of my rushed and busy day, when i’ve been all over town and i’m once again saying that classic phrase to myself, “why can’t i find a leather parrot stitched onto a bright teal blue bootie? how hard can it be?” then i slap myself plumb on the forehead, look into camera number one and [ READ MORE ]
maybe this shoemaker hasn’t spoken to many prisoners or slaves. if they had they would know that when you strapped something down forcibly with chains it generally leaves nasty bruises and contusions on the skin. there’s no need to add to the growing pedestric abuse problem in the country. “what? no no. my shoes? (uncomfortable laugh) what do [ READ MORE ]
good job Dada Footwear. not only does this shoe remind me of a tv and vcr combo, it reminds me of a tv and vcr combo made by Coby Electronics in the 1990s. but who knows, maybe the sound system of a teddy ruxpin doll with a piss poor battery life is what an electronic junkie might really want for christmas [ READ MORE ]